by - January 27, 2017

Wow, I can't believe how 2016 ended so soon! Looking back, it has been a year of challenges and realizations. I always present myself by having a strong personality who never lets anyone look down on me. I am a fighter, yes, but just like any of you, I still have a lot of things to learn. And to be honest with you guys, before 2016 ended and just as this year have started - I've learned a couple of things that I would like to share with you. These may be some thoughts that are great to ponder upon.

  • I've learned to eliminate hatred and replace it with love. There was one person who I am not really close with told a friend that I am full of hatred. And then one day I just asked myself where all these hatred came from. Who started it? Why am I so hateful? Then all these experiences and emotions came pouring in - I used to be a happy person but with all these bad experiences with people made me see the worst in them before seeing the good. Slowly, I am learning to look beyond what our naked eyes can see. To see the good in every person instead of focusing on their bad characteristics.
  • I've learned that forgiveness takes time and courage. Trust me, I've been there. This is the reason why I've abandoned being The Awkward Probinsyana cause this identity reminded me of my happy days with someone I was really close with but because of a sudden turn of events, we parted ways. I was heartbroken and hurt but I showed the world that I was furious, which takes me to my third learning -s e e  n e x t  b u l l e t || Expressing forgiveness also took me a lot of courage, I can't even tell how many gallons of fluid I've swallowed before I could contact this person whom I haven't speak to for years but let me tell you this, it will be worth it.
  • I've learned that showing what you truly feel is not a sign of weakness. I never told anyone what I found out - I just expressed my anger through social media. When they asked me why, I never gave them a reason. I was bombarded by hurtful things that the person said behind my back but I never really shared the complete details with anyone. That's why I looked bad in their eyes but I didn't care. I kept it to myself so I became angrier every single day.
  • I've learned to apologize specially if you know for a fact that even though these people hurt you, you've also did something wrong in some ways. I got so mad that I've resorted to social media for all my unsaid feelings, I even cursed them to their faces and text messages. I blocked them and removed them from my socials - I've cursed everyone and did I feel good after doing so? No, I didn't. The thorns were only removed the day I've fully allowed myself to forgive and to heal. Babe, it felt good.
  • I've learned that some advises aren't really a good advice. :) Even some of your friends give bad advises and it's okay to trust your own instincts. It's okay to decide on your own and it's okay to commit mistakes just as long as you learn from them.
Before 2016 closed, it has opened some doors that I've already closed. Rekindled friendships and closures set me free. I still have a lot to learn and I'm trying to learn it outside social media. Turning off my connection every once in a while make me explore the world that is out there - besides, I'm only 25 and still learning.

Much Love,

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